Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.