Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
