You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
