my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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