I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
