Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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