fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
