please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
