So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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