Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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