Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I want to make a zoo with you.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
