Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
