oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
The power of my boobs compel you
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
