I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
no, he came in my armpit
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
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