I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize