I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
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He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
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please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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