dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
