I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
