Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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