hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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