I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
