one might say we're banned from that church
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
