Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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