the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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