walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
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Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
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