ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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