Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
