last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
As shirtless as possible
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
