Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
bring money and cleavage
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Did we literally take a cab across the street
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
