Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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