Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
