the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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