dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Randomize
