I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
