He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Alive.
So much puke
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
