I wish I could punch you in the face.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
