her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Houston, we have a squirter
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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