she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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