I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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