I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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