That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
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I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
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He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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