Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
