What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
