her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
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The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
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I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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