i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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