K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
