he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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