sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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