yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
