I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
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