Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
