My liver just broke up with me...
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize