some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize