i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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