Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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