mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
