i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
