Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
