At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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