Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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