I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
