worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
