My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
