well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
