But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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